How to Recognize a Covert Narcissist
In the world of narcissism, there are two primary types: overt and covert. While overt narcissists often display their grandiose egos and excessive self-importance openly, covert narcissists tend to be more subtle and elusive. Recognizing a covert narcissist can be challenging, as they often blend in with the rest of society. However, by understanding their behavior patterns and characteristics, you can become more aware of their presence. In this article, we will discuss how to recognize a covert narcissist and what to do if you suspect you are in a relationship with one.
1. Obsessive Need for Approval
Covert narcissists have an intense need for approval, but they may not show it in the same way as overt narcissists. Instead of boasting about their achievements, they may silently seek validation from others. They often feel threatened by criticism and may become defensive or even aggressive when their self-esteem is challenged. Pay attention to how they react when you provide constructive feedback or disagree with them.
2. Envy and Resentment
Covert narcissists can be envious of others, often without openly acknowledging it. They may subtly compare themselves to others, feeling resentment when they believe someone has something they don’t. This envy can manifest in various ways, such as passive-aggressive behavior or trying to undermine others’ success. Be aware of any underlying resentment or jealousy in your relationship.
3. Manipulative Behavior
Manipulation is a common trait among covert narcissists. They may use psychological tactics to gain control over others, such as gaslighting or emotional blackmail. They may also play the victim, making it seem like they are the ones who are being mistreated. Watch for signs of manipulation, such as sudden changes in mood, inconsistency in their stories, or attempts to isolate you from friends and family.
4. Hypersensitivity to Criticism
Covert narcissists are often hypersensitive to criticism, even when it is constructive. They may become defensive or react with anger when their flaws or mistakes are pointed out. This hypersensitivity can make it difficult to have an open and honest conversation with them. If you find yourself constantly tiptoeing around their feelings, it may be a sign of covert narcissism.
5. Emotional Abuse
Covert narcissists may engage in emotional abuse, such as belittling, ridiculing, or shaming their partners. They may use subtle forms of emotional manipulation to control and dominate their relationships. Pay attention to any patterns of emotional abuse, such as name-calling, belittling their achievements, or making them feel guilty for their successes.
6. Lack of Empathy
While overt narcissists may display a lack of empathy, covert narcissists can be even more insidious. They may appear caring and concerned on the surface, but their empathy is often superficial. They may not truly understand or care about your feelings or needs. Look for signs of a lack of empathy, such as ignoring your concerns or trivializing your experiences.
Conclusion
Recognizing a covert narcissist can be difficult, but it is crucial to be aware of their behavior patterns. If you suspect you are in a relationship with a covert narcissist, it is important to seek support from friends, family, or a mental health professional. By understanding the signs and consequences of covert narcissism, you can take steps to protect yourself and improve your quality of life.
